Major Stresses for Kids

 In blog, children, massage, motherhood, stress management

I just completed a pediatric massage session and during it the six year old child fell asleep. The parent and I counted it as a success. As her mother carried the little one to the car from the office a man standing by flippantly commented

“children getting a massage? That’s the problem with this generation. Kids are so spoiled.”

I’m not going to sugar coat it, that comment made me angry. Speaking from a place of ignorance, what this man didn’t realize was that the little girl had been suffering from a sense of anxiety that had caused her lack of sleep and intense muscle tension.

In the time of this writing, pediatric massage is not common place. However that does not negate the many benefits that massage therapy has for children. Today I’ll discuss the common cause of stress for children, primarily in the United States.

Perception

If you’re reading this , you’re most likely an adult and perhaps have forgotten the stress of childhood. Being a kid today is more difficult than when you were a child. For starters we didn’t have the amount of homework kids have. Most of us had the luxury of letting off steam from the day and playing outside, returning home just before dark. In current times they live in a state of being monitored and transported to every activity by adults. Additionally they compete with their social media status, struggling against the highest level of anxiety and depression. This is due to dependence on technology incurring sedentary lifestyles. Social awkwardness is created from constant adult supervision not allowing them to problem solve and resolve situations thus inhibiting confidence.

School

For all the progress that the education system attempts to make, it is clear that our public education system is failing our children. However, what occurs in the classroom is not the only stressful experience that children have.

Educators are overwhelmed with the responsibility of large classrooms. They are underpaid and under appreciated. Often undergoing a barrage of accusations from parents and faculty, the stress they have may transmit to your children. Most teachers are not given the ability to teach in a way that inspires creativity and fun. Their frustration affects the pressure educators feel to have students pass exams in a “timely” manner so they will avoid being reprimanded for their job. Your child feels that stress.

Bullies

Great strides have been made in the media to prohibit bullying. However it can come within homes from siblings, class mates in school and more than ever online. Even neighborhood kids that gather for sport activities can activate bullying. Most children are temperamental but passive. However, those children with assertive personalities that feel frustrated often take out their anger on passive children. Despite coming from a loving home, children with a shy personality cower from bullies and the thought of having to experience that daily causes an enormous amount of stress that manifests in the body.

Lack of Playtime

Art, music classes and recess were the first to go and what a mistake this was. Most children contain an excessive amount of energy that need an outlet. Stuffing them in cold classrooms early in the morning and drilling them with information for 6 to 7 hours a day with no outlet for fun or play will build an enormous amount of tightness of their muscle tissue. Sedentary lifestyles are more common among children as the rise of cell phones and mobile devices replace outdoor playtime.

Backpacks

Ask a young child how they feel about their backpack and you will quickly be able to gauge their strong dislike. The vertebral spine is at a delicate stage at a this point in a child’s life. Can a child carry heavy items on their backs? Physically, yes. Are you expecting their small developing bones not be affected by this excessive weight? I hope your answer is no.

The ratio of weight and size of textbooks and the child has not been taken into account and results in terrible back pain. In some states children are not permitted to have wheels to roll their backpacks unless back pain can be medically proven with a doctor’s note. This decision is justified by a fear of liability from schools when someone trips over a rolling back pack. In the mean time, countless children suffer from painful muscle tension from carrying heavy textbooks.

Children are a certain age only once and their developing minds are capable of so much. When young, their brains absorb information much faster than adults. They quickly learn other languages, music and art. They long for creativity, fun and play.

Children are seen as innocent and that is mistakenly coupled with a stress-free life.

A child doesn’t have to purchase a car, buy a home or pay utility bills to understand stress. It is certain that some circumstances carry more weight than others and produce severe results. However as early as their toddler years, children begin to reason and manipulate situations to their advantage or can be used by others. In their world, negative stress exists. As adults, we have to slow down and pay attention to how they are responding to that. Many children don’t speak about what bothers them because adults seem unapproachable and overwhelmed.

How Massage Helps

When your child receives a professional massage, their sensitive nervous system is soothed and their muscles begin to relax. Massage gives them the care and attention they desperately seek when it is given with the intention of genuine warmth and compassion. It can also teach a child a new and healthy way of coping with stress as well as treating muscle injuries. Massage like any other healthy habit is a discipline and when introduced at an early age, they can carry this option to adulthood. Be certain to schedule your child with a massage therapist with a good reputation in the community for working with kids and that follows a high standard of ethics.

In conclusion, realizing that your child may carry a high amount of stress is an opportunity to reflect on your own life. If your stress levels are through the roof, you will be hard pressed to give your child’s stressors the attention they need. Take hope and baby steps, stressors can be recognized and altered slightly to start to make a positive impact in you and your child’s life.

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